Embracing the End
by Dan Greeson
This article originally appeared in the Winter 2024 issue of Art with Altitude.
Conversations with a Death Doula
Surrounded by the growing chaos of COVID-19 in spring 2020, Alison Zimmerman answered one of the worst phone calls a daughter can receive. Her father had gone to the ER with a headache and had been given a terminal diagnosis. The doctor said Alison’s father had just 12 months to live.
“I was able to drop everything and I made the choice to go back East indefinitely, to walk alongside my dad as he faced his mortality,” Alison says. He would exceed the doctors’ predictions and survive for two years. Being with him in death “looked a lot like living fully and conquering goals as he slowly deteriorated. In that time, I learned so much about myself,” she says.
The experience would alter the course of Alison’s life, inspiring her to become a death doula and self-described “disruptor of cultural norms surrounding death.” She holds conversations that most would shy away from, changing how others view and discuss the end of life.
“There’s so much value in facing the truth, even when it’s scary,” Alison says. She also works as a “legacy coach,” helping clients find their values and goals for life and death. “As we acknowledge and approach our deaths, I feel like it opens up doors,” she adds. “Legacy is a moment-to-moment creation.”
Alison’s work extends beyond individual sessions and into community engagement through “Death Cafes.” Alison, alongside co-host Teresa Miller, has created a space for individuals to gather, share, and discuss death openly without agendas and interruptions.
“It really takes something to choose to tap into those memories that provoke feelings of pain and sadness,” Alison says. However, these Death Cafes, hosted monthly at the Dusky Grouse, draw groups eager to express and process these thoughts. “It’s a consciously curated container to openly discuss death and dying and create language and community around it,” Alison says.
Death Cafe meetups are inclusive and non-judgmental. “Some of the people who attend have experienced suicide and other traumatic deaths,” Alison says. “People come in with a general idea of what they need to release or talk about, and the Death Cafe is a space for them to do that in a way they can’t do in their day-to-day life.”
Each Death Cafe meetup has a significant impact on its attendees. “People leave the Death Cafe lit up,” Alison says. “It’s so heavy and dark, some of the things that are being shared and talked about, but getting them out on the table creates so much space.”
Alison’s work encourages choice and awareness around death in a society that often outright avoids the topic. “I identify as a disruptor,” Alison says, “and this is a huge reason why I’ve become a death doula. It’s an act of rebellion to face the truth.” Her work teaches that confronting death can help us live life more fully.
Elevate the Arts: If you or a loved one are facing death, find a support group where you can share your thoughts and emotions in a safe place. Go to deathcafe.com for more information. DG
